Attachment Trauma: How Early Pain Shows Up in Adult Life
Attachments are developed very early in life. Even as a baby, you should ideally form a secure attachment with your parents or caregivers. Secure attachments help with emotional regulation and self-esteem, and they create a solid foundation for healthy relationships as a child gets older.
Unfortunately, not every child experiences that kind of security.
Some deal with attachment trauma from a young age, and the pain of that trauma can leave a lasting impact. You might not remember everything you went through as a child, but recognizing how early pain shows up in adult life can help you make the connection.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at the lingering effects of attachment trauma and how your childhood experiences might still be affecting you today.
Relationship Problems
One of the biggest issues those with attachment trauma face is difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships. If you have an anxious or avoidant attachment style, you might have a hard time trusting others. It can lead to a fear of intimacy and vulnerability, which are necessary when it comes to healthy communication.
Attachment trauma can also create codependency in relationships. You might find that you rely on others for constant validation, and your self-worth is found in other people’s approval. That leads to imbalances in relationships and could put you at risk of emotional abuse if someone were to take advantage of you.
Mental Health Issues
In addition to affecting your relationships, early pain from childhood can wreak havoc on your psychological well-being.
People who experience attachment trauma are often at a greater risk of developing anxiety or depression. You might have a difficult time managing stress, especially while struggling with feelings of guilt or shame associated with your trauma.
Again, people with attachment trauma also tend to have a hard time with emotional regulation. You might not recognize or understand many of your own feelings. Obviously, that can be frustrating, but it can also impact your self-esteem as well as your interpersonal relationships. Emotional regulation plays a huge part in everyday life. Feeling as though you don’t understand your feelings or know how to express them properly can perpetuate a vicious cycle of mental health issues.
Self-Perception
Attachment trauma tends to do more than impact your self-esteem. While you might see yourself in a negative light, it can also cause you to struggle in other ways. For example, you might have trouble with healthy boundaries.
An unstable foundation makes it difficult to establish those boundaries in relationships. Again, that opens you up to things like emotional abuse and imbalances within your relationships.
People who deal with emotional dysregulation caused by attachment trauma are also more likely to be impulsive. You might engage in behaviors without thinking them through as a way of coping with things, including the way you see yourself.
Physical Symptoms
Attachment trauma affects your mental well-being, but it can also manifest itself physically throughout your life. Research has suggested a correlation between attachment trauma and things like chronic pain, headaches, and even digestive issues. Unprocessed trauma can also contribute to chronic fatigue.
If you tend to experience regular pain or discomfort and can’t come up with a medical reason, it’s important to look at your past and what might be causing it.
Breaking Free from Attachment Trauma
No matter how old you are, it’s never too late to find peace from the pain you experienced early in life. While things like self-care and support are essential, therapy is often the best way to truly heal.
Trauma therapy can help you better understand where and how your trauma started, while providing the skills you need for emotional regulation and more.
If you’re ready to break free from the attachment issues you experienced as a child, I’m happy to help you on that journey. Contact me today to set up an appointment.